I will begin by saying that one year ago I would have been one of the people that I am about to criticize. I am very grateful that I no longer am and I have my son to thank for the change. I also must thank my husband for supporting our family overhaul and paying the grocery bill which eats the majority of our funds.
A few weeks ago I started my search for a workout program that would fit my new lifestyle. My son really can't be in a daycare setting because of the severity of his sensitivities to food and the same problem applies to pre-school type settings. We are pretty certain that we are going to homeschool which is going to be both a blessing and an extra challenge. As a way to avoid the trap of being stuck in the house all day and having no social life, I have been interviewing various physical activity locations. I have always felt like crap with a myriad of problems ranging from achy joints, inflammation, short breath, rapid heart rate, headaches etc. This kept me from performing anywhere near peak fitness. This kept me from enjoying riding my bike. Let me tell you, I have a sweeeeet bike. I bought it in Italy and barely ride it because I can't breathe while riding. Since cutting the crap out of our diet, I am doing push ups, squats, jogging, walking, swimming, adventuring and bike riding.
The activity I picked as my social/physical outlet is Stroller Strides. I looked at the traditional gym that is only a few blocks from me and I was totally saddened. They had all the usual suspects, the treadmills, weights, hot tub, ellipticals etc but the majority of people there were working like dogs and were still fat. That wasn't exactly motivating. Another down side was the fact that it was indoors. Isn't the point of life to live it? Why pay someone to walk on a machine while staring at more machines that tell you to eat this junk that will force you to spend more time on said machine? What a depression and vicious cycle.
The second activity I looked into was CrossFit. While I know that a lot of Paleo/Primal people swear by CrossFit and I can see the appeal, I just don't see the appeal of paying someone to organize it for me. The whole idea of using natural objects to reach your fitness goals is admirable but once you start making mass-produced "found" objects (that is art school talking) then you are missing the point. I enjoyed CF, I liked the motivation, the challenge and the fitness that people achieve and I especially liked that the majority of people there eat the way I do. This was a group of people that understand that what you put into your body is what you get out of it. What I didn't like was having to pay someone $85 a month for a 35 minute workout that kept my kid in a day care room playing in front of a television while I competed for speed after a short introduction as to how to do each move without ruining my body. Kudos to the gym for having a snack free kids room to accommodate allergies and gluten intolerant children but I still couldn't do it.
And like any good Goldilocks story, a third option must be chosen that is just right. A mother in my son's Kindermusik class said that she had been going to Stroller Strides and was enjoying the hard work out. I was admittedly skeptical because most "Mommy and Me" things are pretty much hearts and rainbows. Five minutes in, I was sold. There were a few moms that were overweight but mainly because they were coming off of a pregnancy. The majority of moms were fit, ripped even. The activity was one hour of sprints, squats, push-ups, burpees, stadium jumps, star jumps, mountain climbers, etc. I needed water after 10 minutes and by the end of it, my legs were Jell-O.
After all of this yeah for StrollerStrides...where is the /rant? Here it goes.
Eating crap food will make you fat and no matter how much you workout you will still be fat.
Telling me that you are going to eat nothing but health food for a month to get ready for "bikini season" and then saying that your "health" food is pre-made microwave crap makes me want to punch you in the face. Shoveling down Luna bars like they are health gold is why you're fat. I don't care that they are made with "healthy ingredients". Whole grains are killing you. Quinoa is not a health food. Quinoa is a poison that is used as an insecticide. Literally. Look it up. Don't eat that. Don't feed that to your children. Just don't. Also, shovelling goldfish crackers in your child's precious little faces as a way to keep them happy then wondering why the are screaming at you and crying out for more then refusing you eat real food is just plain wrong. If you feed your child crap food, they will be crap eaters. Simply put, your child does not control their diet, you do. Until your toddler gets on his little tricycle, takes his piggy bank money, rolls to the store and orders up a cheeseburger and soda all by themselves, anything they eat is your responsibility.
Speaking of "healthy ingredients" in things like protein bars...ever wonder why every health food is chocolate or desert flavored? The reason is simple...because it is a candy bar and not a health bar. It it were real food, it would be kale flavored, sweet potato flavored, beet flavored...and the "flavoring" would come from the actual plant. Ha! What a crazy idea! Here is an ingredient list for a Luna bar:
A few weeks ago I started my search for a workout program that would fit my new lifestyle. My son really can't be in a daycare setting because of the severity of his sensitivities to food and the same problem applies to pre-school type settings. We are pretty certain that we are going to homeschool which is going to be both a blessing and an extra challenge. As a way to avoid the trap of being stuck in the house all day and having no social life, I have been interviewing various physical activity locations. I have always felt like crap with a myriad of problems ranging from achy joints, inflammation, short breath, rapid heart rate, headaches etc. This kept me from performing anywhere near peak fitness. This kept me from enjoying riding my bike. Let me tell you, I have a sweeeeet bike. I bought it in Italy and barely ride it because I can't breathe while riding. Since cutting the crap out of our diet, I am doing push ups, squats, jogging, walking, swimming, adventuring and bike riding.
The activity I picked as my social/physical outlet is Stroller Strides. I looked at the traditional gym that is only a few blocks from me and I was totally saddened. They had all the usual suspects, the treadmills, weights, hot tub, ellipticals etc but the majority of people there were working like dogs and were still fat. That wasn't exactly motivating. Another down side was the fact that it was indoors. Isn't the point of life to live it? Why pay someone to walk on a machine while staring at more machines that tell you to eat this junk that will force you to spend more time on said machine? What a depression and vicious cycle.
The second activity I looked into was CrossFit. While I know that a lot of Paleo/Primal people swear by CrossFit and I can see the appeal, I just don't see the appeal of paying someone to organize it for me. The whole idea of using natural objects to reach your fitness goals is admirable but once you start making mass-produced "found" objects (that is art school talking) then you are missing the point. I enjoyed CF, I liked the motivation, the challenge and the fitness that people achieve and I especially liked that the majority of people there eat the way I do. This was a group of people that understand that what you put into your body is what you get out of it. What I didn't like was having to pay someone $85 a month for a 35 minute workout that kept my kid in a day care room playing in front of a television while I competed for speed after a short introduction as to how to do each move without ruining my body. Kudos to the gym for having a snack free kids room to accommodate allergies and gluten intolerant children but I still couldn't do it.
And like any good Goldilocks story, a third option must be chosen that is just right. A mother in my son's Kindermusik class said that she had been going to Stroller Strides and was enjoying the hard work out. I was admittedly skeptical because most "Mommy and Me" things are pretty much hearts and rainbows. Five minutes in, I was sold. There were a few moms that were overweight but mainly because they were coming off of a pregnancy. The majority of moms were fit, ripped even. The activity was one hour of sprints, squats, push-ups, burpees, stadium jumps, star jumps, mountain climbers, etc. I needed water after 10 minutes and by the end of it, my legs were Jell-O.
After all of this yeah for StrollerStrides...where is the /rant? Here it goes.
Eating crap food will make you fat and no matter how much you workout you will still be fat.
Telling me that you are going to eat nothing but health food for a month to get ready for "bikini season" and then saying that your "health" food is pre-made microwave crap makes me want to punch you in the face. Shoveling down Luna bars like they are health gold is why you're fat. I don't care that they are made with "healthy ingredients". Whole grains are killing you. Quinoa is not a health food. Quinoa is a poison that is used as an insecticide. Literally. Look it up. Don't eat that. Don't feed that to your children. Just don't. Also, shovelling goldfish crackers in your child's precious little faces as a way to keep them happy then wondering why the are screaming at you and crying out for more then refusing you eat real food is just plain wrong. If you feed your child crap food, they will be crap eaters. Simply put, your child does not control their diet, you do. Until your toddler gets on his little tricycle, takes his piggy bank money, rolls to the store and orders up a cheeseburger and soda all by themselves, anything they eat is your responsibility.
Speaking of "healthy ingredients" in things like protein bars...ever wonder why every health food is chocolate or desert flavored? The reason is simple...because it is a candy bar and not a health bar. It it were real food, it would be kale flavored, sweet potato flavored, beet flavored...and the "flavoring" would come from the actual plant. Ha! What a crazy idea! Here is an ingredient list for a Luna bar:
LunaPro ® (Soy Rice Crisps Soy Protein Isolate, Organic Rice Flour], Organic Toasted Oats[Organic Rolled Oats, Organic Dried Cane Syrup], Organic Soy Flour, Organic Flaxmeal), Organic Brown Rice Syrup, Coating (Organic Dried Cane Syrup, Organic Cocoa, Palm Kernel Oil, Organic Palm Kernel Oil, Organic Soy Lecithin, Organic Vanilla), Inulin (Chicory Extract), Organic Peanut Butter (Organic Peanuts, Salt), Organic Peanuts, Organic Peanut Flour,Natural Flavors, Organic Oat Syrup Solids, Vegetable Glycerine, Sea Salt.
Any part of that strike you as healthy? So the soy is bad, followed by inflammatory rice followed by oats (grains) followed by a sweetener. More soy flour, a edible ingredient..more sweetener, more sweetener, more sweetener, decent oil, chemical poison, sweetener, more legume poison, salt, poison, poison flour, mystery ingredient that they are getting away without disclosing, sweetener, sweetener/texture, sea salt. (As a nice note to highlight how eating well really pays off, of the moms in the group, the fit, healthy ones whose kids chill out for the whole activity are the ones NOT shoveling candy bars in their face or in their kids faces. They are already lean and ready for a good exercise program, not depending on the fat burning for saving them so they can make room for "treats" or "bikini season".)
What part of that was good for you? This is not real food people! I understand complex carbs but there are better ways to get them.
If you need to be snacking throughout the day, you are not eating enough real food. I understand that it is difficult to get your kids out the door when you are going somewhere but if I can do it, so can you. I make from scratch 3 meals a day. I can guarantee you that the moms feeding these things to their children are not making scrambled eggs, meat and a fruit breakfast every morning. They are "making" a bowl of "nutritious" cereal. I occasionally snack on things like nuts or fruit but it usually tells me that I need to meal plan better because I am not eating enough or drinking enough water.
Second problem...moms who blame getting big during pregnancy on fate. Slap yourselves. I was one of them...now I see the light. I gained weight while I was pregnant with A. I ate everything. I was told by my doctors and everyone else to keep crackers in my purse for nausea. To eat a bowl of cereal before I got out of bed. To drink a glass of juice before getting up. To limit my activity...to drink lots of sports drinks...to eat more ice cream...to eat Ramen noodles to help with nausea....the list of crap recommendations from medical staff could go on forever. By faithfully following the SAD (Standard American Diet) and my doctor's guidelines, I gained 50 pounds. My kid was only 10lb8oz. While that is a big baby....that means that minus the extra organ, blood flow, water weight etc...I added about 35lbs of pure fat. No wonder I have stretch marks down my thighs! I ate the whole State of North Carolina and sat on my fat lazy American ass and complained that I have gotten fat but that it was a normal pregnancy thing so I shouldn't be too concerned. It is a tragedy that American's are so convinced that it is normal to become a lardass while pregnant that we chastise anyone who says otherwise. Pamela Druckerman's book Bringing up Bebe mentioned the French example of regaining your line (figure) and American's went nuts. The idea that a woman is expected to gain only a healthy amount of weight and then lose it is considered offensive and restricting in a society where we can't just be satisfied with occasional junk food, we have to wrap our junk food in junk food. Why can't a bag of chips be a nice treat once in a while? When did it become okay to make it a regular food?
Well, I am sick and tired of ringing up my groceries at the store and having to tell the cashier what each vegetable name is.
I am sick of being surrounded by Europeans at the Farmer's Market because they are the only ones who get it. I am sick of being labeled pretentious because I shop at the Farmer's Market and make my own food. Don't call me a foodie...I just eat real food. I can name all the ingredients in my dinner. Can you?
I am sick of people working their butts off in the gym then cooling down with a nice glass of colorful poison soft drink, shoveling a candy bar in their faces and then complaining that they just need to work out more often to see results.
I am tired of people saying that I am skinny so I must not understand how hard you have to work out to see results.
I am sick and tired of people being ninnies about how their joints ache while they work out then won't listen when I explain how sugar causes inflammation and if they would stop eating candy they could stop the anti-inflammatory drug cycle.
In general I am saddened, sick and tired of Americans. Why do we do this to ourselves and to our children? Why do we feed our children poison and junk food all day then complain about their attention spans, lack of naps, husky builds, lethargy, desire to sit on their mini-lardasses and general apathy towards real food?
Wake up people. grow a garden, turn the soil, eat real food, learn about a new vegetable or two, and better yet....go a whole week, a day, an hour without something from a box or bag. Don't tell me that you can't afford it. Don't make excuses for your own choices. It is not a finances thing. I can make real food for the same cost as fake food. I chose better quality and that costs more. The Farmer's Market takes SNAP/EBT (food stamps) so that excuse is out.
Get up, get out and make a change and if you ask me how I survive without whole grains one more time...I will probably hurt you.
/rant over
